Without Writing

The art of writing without writing… about fighting.

Sofos strikes back… against illness

Sidney’s in the press again. I wondered why he had been so quiet for so long. Apparently it was an enforced absence. 

According to this “human interest” article published in a local London newspaper this very month,  Mr Sofos recently had life-saving surgery to correct a heart problem. Some of the article consists of Sid thanking his cardiologist for saving the aforementioned life of Sid. (all credit for spotting this fantastic literary farce goes to one Mr Peter, who kindly commented on the original Sofos article on this blog)

That’s all well and good, and as a human being I can’t help but wish Mr Sofos a speedy and full recovery. Equally as a human being however, I can’t help but wish that he would find a better use for his new lease of life than defrauding innocent customers by selling them worthless imaginary drivel from his nefarious house of woo in the back streets of Tottenham.

All of that is beside the point however; the most amusing portion of the article is the section in which Sofos’ claims to have taught Lennox Lewis, worked with Steven Seagal on the Glimmer Man and to have learned Kung Fu in China at age 16.

As far as one can tell and from past experience, these are all fabrications. Lest you doubt, do not forget Sofos’ previous claims on his own website that he was Michael Jackson’s bodyguard, and that he played the sword wielding assassin that Harrison Ford shot during the famous “Sword vs Gun” gag in Raiders of the Lost Ark. While lying through his teeth, he also forgot which character held the whip and which held the sword during said scene.

From his own website: “Sid became well known in the martial arts world, and featured in a BBC documentary, “The Way of the Warrior”, as well as commercials. But his most memorable screen appearance is probably Raiders of the Lost Ark: “I played the guy in the market place with the bull whip,” he said. “I have a duel with Harrison Ford, where I crack the whip all over the place, and then he shoots me! It’s really a funny scene, and probably the one everyone remembers from the film – but hardly anyone knows it’s me.”

Indeed, the scene everyone remembers from the film… everyone except Sid Sofos, apparently. If you still doubt, you can check the credits for the film on IMDB. Or watch the film. The guy looks nothing like Sofos.

Sid needed a heart doctor… but he still needs a head doctor.


2 responses to “Sofos strikes back… against illness

  1. anonymous 2012, August 8 at 12:44 am

    With his fraudulently claimed amazing healing powers, why did he need a doctor to heal him?

    With his fraudulently claimed amazing psychic power how come he couldn’t diagnose his condition himself? Why did he need a doctor who probably has never trained a day of martial arts?

    With all the 30 years he has trained martial arts and all the chi power he has supposedly got from this, why did he get a serious heart condition in the first place? Surely his chi and other fraudulently claimed amazing powers should have prevented this constrictive pericarditis heart condition from ever even happening?

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